I can't even formulate the right words to express how I'm feeling right now. All I keep thinking is "I could have died out there!!". Last night, on the way back uptown on the FDR Drive, my uncle lost control of the car and nearly drove us all into the the East River. Luckily, we crashed into the side railing. Had we continued to swerve, the car would have flipped over(which it came really close to doing at one point....the back of the car was ALL THE WAY off the ground but we were still moving). It happened fast enough to scare the shit out of me yet slow enough for me to be able to process everything. I SWEAR, in my head, I had already prepared myself for my last breath. I really and truly believed that I was going to die. Thankfully, we all got out of the car in one piece. Aside from a few bumps and bruises,no one was injured. The only things damaged were the car and my sense of security. There's no telling when or how life is going to be taken from us.
People always say that life is too short and I believe that but I never thought of my own life being like that.My mind is always on the future. I have a habit of putting things off for tomorrow or some other time. Like I have the luxury of deciding what my future will be. Like I can control what's coming...
Tomorrow?????
What's that when I could die right now?!?
The future is a very sketchy concept.
Aiysha always asks the question "Why are you playing with your life??" and though she uses it in a joking manner, the question is a valid one.
WHY AM I????
Life is not a game.
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